I am so proud...

I am so proud of myself lately. It is a wonderful thing for me to have my own money and be able to buy things myself without asking someone to buy it for me. Even though I don't make that much, I can still pay for my daughter's daycare and have some money left over. With Christmas coming up, school will be getting out soon, and I will be able to work more. If I can work more, I can make more money to be able to buy presents from me and santa for Lana. Givin that I won't be able to buy anyone else any presents, I think that they will understand. Everyone knows that I don't have enough money to buy things for anyone except my baby girl. On top of making money, I get to get out and make friends. I have been with my baby twenty-four hours a day for two years. I have spent enough time with her that I can spend a little time away from her to be able to do things for her. Even though I am proud of myself, if means more to me that everyone in my family is proud of me and what I am doing to better mine and my daughter's lives.

This semester so far...

This semester so far has been overwhelming. Between going to school five days a week, work four days a week, and taking care of Lana, I haven't had any time to do much of anything. It took me about a month to find a daycare, but I finally found one. It's called Graceview, and it's pratically right next to my school. Lana starts there next Tuesday, and she will be going three days a week. I'm nervous about leaving her with someone who is not family for the first time. I know that I am going to cry, but it will be a good thing for her to go. She will be able to play with other kids her age, and it will give my grandmother a little break from watching her.

With all this excitement, I haven't been able to determine out a decent schedule to do all of my homework. Because of work, I don't even have time to sit down and relax. I was able to talk to my boss and lighten my work load to two  and three days every other week. It has been so much beter for me. I'm still busy but not as busy where I can't even think about what I have to do next.

I Can Be Such A Flake Sometimes...

I just worked about thirty hours this past week, went to school, and took care of my little girl. Of course I had some help, but that's not the point. Luckily, I will only be working Friday through Sunday from now on and maybe a Thursday every other week. The only reason why I worked so much last week was because I was going through training. I was so tired that I could barely sit down without falling asleep. I even had to skip Thursday's classes because I didn't have any time to study for the Biology test that morning. I definately did not want to fail it, and I even cringe when I get a B. It's my first time doing something like this in four years. The only difference is that now I have a kid. It is hard to juggle everything, but I just have to work up a great schedule. I still haven't found a day care yet. Once I do that and slow down at work, I think everything will be okay. I believe in myself, and I know that everything takes time. Wish me luck!

Yay!! I got a job!! Help!!

I had an interview at JcPenney on Tuesday afternoon and I got the job. Yay me! I was so excited. I just have to wait untill the background check comes in. By October seventh, I should be able to start training.  The only concern that I have is that i will have less time to spend with my daughter and my grandmother will have her more which isn't real good for her. I have been looking for some kind of daycare, preschool, or church program to put Lana in for two or three days a week. I haven't had much luck. I seriously need some help finding a great place for Lana to go. I can't leave her just anywhere. I found a couple of churches with preschool programs but they are too expensive for me to pay. I can only afford so much. This will be my first job since I got pregnant. I am a single mother and will be working part time making minimum wage. It's not a lot but it's a start.  I am lucky enough to have family to help me out, but I told them that they've done enough. Paying for Lana's daycare is something that I want to do on my own even if it means that I won't have any money left over to pay my car insurance, buy lunch, buy gas, or any other necessity that Lana or I would need. I hate asking somebody to get something for me. I feel better if I can at least work it off. With my grandparents, they are not able to get out and do yard work or much housework. I will work off money that they spend on me either in the yard, in the house, or in the office. It's going to be hard for the next couple of months. Pray for me.

I am writing this blog when I should be...

I am writing this blog when I should be spending quality time with my daughter and cleaning. I don't get to spend as much time with my baby girl like I used to because I am now going to school. If I get one of the jobs that I have an interview for next week, I will have even less time to spend with her. She has become a lot smarter since we've been here. She loves to help people clean which is something else I should be doing right now. I should be doing dishes, putting clothes away, cleaning Lana's messes, and putting her toys away. Two things I really dislike are washing dishes and putting clothes away. I much prefer a dishwasher, and if you have one, use it. I can wash and dry laundry all day long, but when it comes to putting them where they go, I will put it off forever. It takes me at least three to five days to actually put clothes away. Lana does like to make messes, but she is two. It's not that bad, though. I normally just clean as she messes and pick up toys as she's finished with them. She's old enough now that she will pick up after herself when I tell her to. She is a good girl but has her moments.

In January, I was...

In January, I was in the process of being passed back and forth between family members. I was kind of like a rag doll in that department. It was mainly because of my daughter. Everyone wants the little sweetie to stay and visit for a little while. I lived with my mom in Williston before I moved up here with my grandparents to go to college, and I would have to come up here and stay for a couple weeks every other month or so. It was starting to get annoying, but now that I'm going to college, I don't have to worry about that. My parents have to come up here if they want to see Lana. I might go down there when the semester is over before Christmas. I haven't really figured it out yet. If I can get a job, I might not have time to go visit, but that all depends on IF I get a job. I don't have time to be anyone's rag doll now, and that makes me smile. I'm free to be me.

Life takes some funny twists and turns...

There are things that happen in life that you would never expect. One weird little twist and turn that recently happened to me deals with two old friends of mine from high school in Mississippi. Two weeks ago, my friend, Tony, sent me a message on facebook apologizing for something he did wrong to me like four or five years ago. He said that everytime he came home on leave from the military, he stopped by my old house and just sat there trying to muster up the courage to knock on the door. He did that about twice a year until he finally realized that I didn't live there anymore. Last week, my other friend, Brandi, also sent me a message on facebook apologizing for something that she thought she did wrong. It was actually her friend who did it wrong and not her, but it was nice to hear an apology for it. After these two people did these things to me, for some reason they just didn't talk to me at all after that until now. Now it's like they won't stop talking to me. I thought it was really weird to have not one but two people in two weeks apologize to me and wanted to be friends again. Life throws unexpected twists and turns your way; you have to be on the lookout for them. You never know when they will cross your path.